Slowing down

Is this really my third week in this rotation? It seems like it just started yesterday!

I feel like I haven't learned anything. The rational part of me knows this is not true. I have learned "loads" and I have "loads" yet to learn. However, I still feel useless. Well, honors useless. Yes, I really want honors in this rotation. I am just not sure how to get there. I start a presentation about a patient very strong, but then I hit a little snag and I feel like it all comes crashing down. I am burning in a fiery pit of my own ignorance. True, better ignorance than stupidity, but still.

I think that part of my problem is that I don't get a chance to work out my "brain" muscle outside of studying from books. At this stage, I am seeing a bunch of patients who are in for "follow up." What does this mean? It means that the new part of the care was established a while ago and the patient is in just to say how things are going. Most of the time, things are fine. What did I learn here? Nothing new.

I must emphasize, however, that those interactions are not losses at all. I get the chance to interact with patients and build on my communication skills with patients. General communication I have always had down pat. But paying attention to the little nuances that the people around you have is the golden ticket. That is one of the differences between good doctors and awesome doctors.

Gosh darn it though! I want to learn something new in the clinic! I am tired of learning all of the time through books.

The other problem is that I don't get a lot of time to interview a patient, digest the information and formulate a plan, and then present it to the attending. I would like a bit more time to figure out what is wrong with the patient before I have to present the info to the attending. However, I don't get that luxury in an outpatient setting. Patient appointments are set to 15 minutes each. That doesn't give me a lot of time. In the inpatient setting, I will get more time because I won't have as many patients (and I will be on call all night with "nothing" to do but study my patient and sleep).

Oh, and I start the "intense" part of this rotation next week. That means lots of hours and not as much down time. Should be interesting!